everywhere I go, I am elsewhere
sometimes
with you
I am present
but
mostly I’m a ghost
how do you hold me, darling?
when I’ve got no form to grab
even if I were human
I wouldn’t understand
you told me that if I were a font, I’d be both bold and sharp
if you were a font, you’d be whatever the most beautiful font is
I don’t want to be a person
I’m not sure I know how
I don’t want to buy a car or a tv or a house
I don’t want to talk to others
for any given reason
Zero part of me cares about what Jane Doe believes in
I hate running into girls you wanted to fuck in high school at the grocery store
I hate running into everyone I fucked in college at the grocery store
and in grocery stores in most surrounding cities
I hate when you tell stories that allude to the girl you took too long to cut off when we started dating
I hate that I exist in the same city as her
I hate that she was very anti- us and you still kept her around for a while
I hate that I had to tell you to tell her to fuck off
I hate that I’m the more considerate partner
I hate that I didn’t come first until I asked to
I hate that I’ve settled for all of these things that I hate
I am not a big fan of monogamy
you are a feeling
which is something I can’t say about
anyone else
I guess
How I long to be
outside of myself
It could have been everything
we could have spent evenings
mornings
late nights
together
It could have been nothing at all
at least for a moment
spell
juncture
of time
it was something